Good Morning Everyone
Yesterday I smoked 12 cigarettes which is 1 more then the goal and 4 less then the average. I took your advice and drank more water and around 2 PM the headaches started to fade away, so thank you for that advice and I will start making this a habit.
Things I struggled with yesterday were the same as far as smoking as I drive. If I can figure out a habit to quit this it would cut my cigarettes per day in half. I just find myself getting so bored driving and so easy to just grab one and smoke it over thinking about it. When I am working it seems like such a hassle in my mind that I have time to talk myself out of it most of the time. Same with when I am at home I start thinking about smoking and just pick up a book and start reading it and it defers me most of the time. All an all yesterday was the easiest day so far.
I am realizing the more occupied my mind is the easier it is to avoid the urges and push them aside. When I get bored or don't have much to do it seems to be the first thing on my mind and it is so much easier just to give in to the urges.
Honestly today has been way harder then first couple of days, for some reason after I smoke once it doesn't seem to satisfy me at all and I want to smoke more then one in a row to achieve the satisfaction. I can tell right now that my body is fighting me every second, it wants the endorphin release it has grown so custom to. My mind is fading more and more to think about smoking I start making excuses as to why it would be okay to smoke for example: "I am working I am not concentrating on my work and if I go smoke now for work it would be acceptable". I have started to question all my reason in my head, not that I don't know the reasons why its bad or I want to quit, but is it worth it or can I really accomplish this goal. The idea of quitting smoking (which I have tried multiple times) is starting to seem impossible. I have been going through figures in my head such as what is the real % of me doing anything or making any difference in my life or if I quit now will I really quit or is this just temporary.
Like I said yesterday today is a new day and just writing this to you all is making me feel a little more optimistic. I will fight every urge today not for myself (because I want to give in honestly) but I will fight today for Kyle. I know you are feeling your own pains and struggles and I know what I feel like right now and it kills me knowing you might be feeling the same way. I truly believe in you Kyle if anyone can do anything in this world it is you and if anyone can keep me on the path it is.
Good Luck Today Kyle!
Patrick
AKA Uncle Pat
Hang in there man. Go run or something, I don't know if that helps but maybe it seems like it would be hard to smoke whilst running.
ReplyDeleteGO RUN!!! GO RUUUNNN!!! what do I look like to you?
ReplyDeleteNo really though not a bad idea after work but I will do it when you do it lol
^ thats true, sounds very hard to run and smoke :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, have you downloaded an app for quitting smoking? I know there are some that show how much money you are saving, and how your body is improving etc. That might help for some extra motivation.
Hang in there! Love you
Agreed. I will check out the toothpicks locally if maybe ALL of you can so he can have these when he's driving which appears to be the hardest time for him. Getting them from Amazon may be too late. You sound like you're having a very big inner struggle Patrick you need to get your mind off of it probably.
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